BAM!!!

That's what it feels like. The last week to 10 days. Back on October 6th Barbara got her second chemo treatment. We were so sure that she wouldn't have the same reaction as the first time when she got extremely ill and had to be hospitalized. Then, BAM!!!, she got sick to her stomach immediately after the injection of chemo into the Omaya reservoir. It got so bad that we had to go to the Urgent Care area of the hospital and she needed anti-nausea medication delivered by intravenous. Finally at 9:30 PM we went home. We had been at the hospital since 1:00 PM.

But the next day she felt so much better. Barbara had so many revelations that day. We thought okay we made it through this one. Fortunately, something told me to take her temperature on Thursday morning before leaving for work. BAM!!!, 101.7 fever. Back to the hospital. Sure enough they start up the intravenous antibiotics and admit her. She was upset and I felt so bad for her. I went home that evening and justed chanted and chanted for her to be better. It is so hard to feel helpless in that situation.

Friday morning some resident comes into her room and tells her that she thinks she might have a "touch of meningitis." What the hell!!! Scared the s--t out of us. The head of the team came in later and said she didn't think so. Residents should really watch the language they use.

Anway, by Saturday she was back to her normal self and asking me to bring her Fried Shrimp for lunch. I was elated. By Monday we were on our way home.

At this point Barbara, was really struggling with this chemo thing. Should she continue. Should she try a natural way of curing the Leukemia. For me, I feel like as much as I wish we could treat this in another way, we don't have the luxury of time since we are fighting an illness that is attacking her brain.

The only choice I see for now is the chemo and prayer. Poison to medicine. Nichiren Daishonin says it as plain as that. It is up to our prayer to make sure the chemo works and spares her healthy cells.

So, Thursday roles around and since the doctors all happen to be in Spain on some kind of conference we meet with a nurse just for a check in and blood test. BAM!!! The blood test shows signs that the chemo is starting to do it's job. Her lymphocyte (the bad cells) count is down significantly.

Poison to medicine. Let's go!!! Poison to medicine. Got to keep fighting.

What do you think? B and I would love to hear from you.

Fight Like The War Is At Your Door. 'CAUSE IT IS!

Let me start with an update. Barbara and I went to the premier of the movie Precious this past Saturday. First of all, don't miss it when it comes out. I think November 6. It was an amazing movie about a very difficult story. We went to the premier party at the Plaza Hotel and had a great time. We actually sat one table away from Robert De Niro and Lenny Kravitz. Very cool.

Okay... but Tuesday we are back to reality. Barbara will start up her chemo again. We are a bit apprehensive but no way to go but forward. Our goal... first of all no side effects, and secondly that the treatments are so successful that she does not need to go the full course that the doctor is planning on.

Now for the reason of the title for this post. This weekend I spoke to a few people and realized just how much they were all going through right now. Made me think about struggles and I came to the realization that no matter how big or small your obstacle, it is very easy to be consumed by it and kind of forget what everyone else is going through. For me, that is no way to live.

Any challenge you face will seem much smaller once you make it to the other side of the experience. It is said that a lion unleashes the same force whether he traps a tiny ant or attacks a fierce animal. There really can't be half way action when facing obstacles in life. We must say and do what is necessary at all times or we are not being fair to ourselves.


So, let's stand up and do what we have to do. Fight. This is your only shot.


What you think?